


Loss and New Beginnings

by RocoRambles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24902671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocoRambles/pseuds/RocoRambles
Summary: There's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Loss and New Beginnings

Kuroo and Kenma have always been together. It’s hard to remember a time before they became next door neighbors and were forced to hang out together by their respective families. Their first memories are filled with awkward silence and the clicking of game controllers as they quietly sit in Kenma’s room, but they’re each other’s only friend and so the silent gaming sessions continue. 

However, over time, that awkward silence transitions to a comfortable tranquility. There’s something calming about being with the other and not having to try too hard. There’s no need for stuttered small talk and there’s no anxiety of keeping up appearances. They simply relish in the quiet presence of the other in Kenma’s room as the months pass. 

More time passes and now their time together is split between video games and volleyball. Kenma hates moving unnecessarily, but watching how excited Kuroo gets and seeing the smile on his face when he blocks a ball is enough motivation for Kenma to at least physically be there on the court (even if all he’s thinking about is how he’s going to beat his game’s next level). 

Middle school finally comes to an end for Kenma and the two are now in high school together. Everyone around them knows them as best friends. You can’t have one without the other and yet, there’s a small sharp tug in Kenma’s chest as he sees Kuroo opening up and making new friends with ease while Kenma quietly watches from his side. But Kenma takes comfort in the fact that he’s still the one Kuroo walks with to and from school. He’s still the one Kuroo goes to when he’s tired of putting up a charismatic front. He’s still the only one who sees Kuroo at his most timid and vulnerable state, when Kuroo’s inner insecurities and anxiety claw their way up. And Kenma is always there to ease those worries away. 

It’s a rainy Sunday morning and Kuroo is lying on Kenma’s floor watching Kenma as he plays the newest game he just bought. The pattering of the rain almost lulls Kuroo into sleep, but a motion distracts him. His eyes trail over to Kenma who is tucking his hair behind his ears and biting his lips in concentration and Kuroo’s body moves on autopilot. All of a sudden Kenma’s line of vision is cut off by Kuroo’s towering body and his controller is gently removed from his hand and placed to the side as Kuroo crouches in front of him. Instinctively Kenma scowls at the interruption, but pauses when he sees the curious focused look in Kuroo’s eyes. Kuroo draws closer and closer until Kenma can feel his breath on his lips and then Kuroo softly closes the distance. 

The kiss is....comfortable. There aren’t fireworks. No angels are singing. And Kenma is not blushing like a lovesick girl. But there’s something nice about the way their lips mold together and how warm Kuroo’s body feels against him. After that they start dating because it just makes sense. They hold hands, cuddle, and kiss, but it never goes further than that. Their relationship is comfortable as is and neither of them have an urge to push it any further. 

Now Kuroo is a second year and is finally a starter on the volleyball team. Today they have a practice match with Fukurodani and they’re warming up when there’s an obnoxiously loud “hey, hey, hey” coming from the Nekoma gym entrance. Kuroo looks up and sees the most idiotic hairstyle he’s ever seen. Scoffing, he turns his attention back to Kenma and ruffles his hair before he steps onto the court. The match ensues and before he knows it, the dumb owl-like boy is right in front of him across the net. Set, spike, block. This is instilled in Kuroo’s brain and as the boisterous ace in front of him jumps up, Kuroo is also leaping up to block. But Kuroo is not expecting the speed or the force of the spike and it rushes past him to hit the ground. Point for Fukurodani. The ace makes eye contact with Kuroo and smirks before he turns around and yells “hey, hey, hey” as Kuroo grits his teeth in annoyance. The game continues, but for Kuroo, the world has narrowed down to just him and this annoying loudmouth. Kuroo does manage to block some of his spikes which seems to deflate the ace a bit and causes Kuroo to smirk right back at the ace, but underneath the competition, there’s a fire burning in Kuroo. There is an excitement raging through him that he’s never felt before and even when the game comes to an end with an overall win for Fukurodani, his body still thrums with passion. 

Exhausted he slumps down on the ground next to Kenma, eyes closed, a towel around his neck, and a cold water bottle in his hand when someone is tapping him on the shoulder. Blearily he opens his eyes and sees the face that’s been taunting him from across the net. “I’m Bokuto Koutarou. You have some pretty decent blocking skills.” And just like that, a new friendship forms. 

Kenma and Kuroo are still dating and glued to each other’s sides, but Kenma sees how Kuroo becomes distracted by Bokuto. He sees the tender smile on Kuroo’s lips when he receives a text from Bokuto. He hears the cackling hyena laugh when the two of them are together. And most of all, he sees the affection in Bokuto’s eyes as he stares at Kuroo. But Kuroo is still with him and that’s all that matters, so Kenma lets it go. 

Kuroo and Bokuto hang out more and more as time passes. Their friendship is one full of excitement and laughs. There’s never a dry moment when the two are together (much to the chagrin of both their teams). Chao ensues when the two join forces, but Kuroo can’t deny the overwhelming warmth and fondness he feels for the hyper owl and so they continue their silly antics. 

Kuroo and Bokuto are now third years and they’re sitting outside on a park bench eating popsicles together when Kuroo feels a tentative touch on his hand. Confused, he looks up and sees Bokuto sporting a shade of red he’s never seen before on a human face. Still in shock, Kuroo can only dumbly stare on as Bokuto’s tentative touch shifts into Bokuto holding his hand and now Bokuto is determinedly staring at him. And is he leaning closer??? Kuroo panics, but before he can do anything, Bokuto’s lips are on his and oh...this must be what those cheesy romance novels meant because it does feel like fireworks are bursting around him and he swears he can hear angel choirs in his ears. But then an image of Kenma flashes in his mind and Kuroo is shoving Bokuto away. “Bo, you know I’m dating Kenma. This is wrong!” But Bokuto is angrily in Kuroo’s face asking him to deny he felt anything in that kiss and Kuroo just stutters with tears in his eyes because no, he can’t deny that he felt the world falling into place when Bokuto kissed him...in a way that his kisses with Kenma have never made him feel.

But Kuroo leaps up and runs away, while Bokuto just sits and watches him from the bench. He runs and runs until he is crawling through Kenma’s bedroom window and sobbing into Kenma’s chest. Startled, Kenma drops his controller and tries to soothe the quivering mess in his lap. When the cries have quieted down, Kuroo tells Kenma everything and then there is just silence between the two, broken once in a while by Kuroo’s quiet sniffles. 

“Kuroo, you’re in love with Bokuto.” At those words, Kuroo frantically moves to hold Kenma tight to his chest as he denies it, but Kenma just brushes his fingers through Kuroo’s messy locks with a sad smile. “Maybe we were both blind or maybe we just didn’t want to see, but you and I have never been in love, Kuroo. We’re best friends and that will never change, but it will never be the same as what Bokuto and you have. You deserve more than just a comfortable love.” 

“I do love you though, Kenma.” “Yes, but you’re not in love with me.” And with that the two just hold each other in silence and enjoy their last intimate embrace. They stay curled up in each other until the sun sets and Kenma finally slips out of Kuroo’s hold and kisses him on the forehead. “You should probably go and figure things out with Bokuto.” Kuroo mutely nods as he brings his forehead to touch Kenma’s forehead. “I do love you. I mean it.” Kenma smiles. “I know and I love you too.” And with that Kuroo makes his way home and Kenma watches him walk away with a fond smile tinged with the bittersweet taste of loss and new beginnings. 


End file.
